No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
