so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
