I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
