That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
