Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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