I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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