dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
