Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
