She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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