I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
