She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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