I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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