I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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