what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
