At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
