Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
