best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
