i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
