Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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