sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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