why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
