Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
