hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
