Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
