That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
