i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
