I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
