if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
