Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
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