So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
