Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
