What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
