apparently the secret to your success is patron
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
