Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
