Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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