Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
