imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
