sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
