I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
