hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
BRING THE BAGELS
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
