So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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