I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
