when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Life is so much better after having sex.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
