ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
