Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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