So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
how drunk are you?
Several
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
