if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
