If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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