i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I don't think brook has ever known best
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
