Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
