Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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