Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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