Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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