it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
