So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
