are you still at the devil's house?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
