god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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