You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
