I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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